As I stated a couple days ago there are many things that we can learn from the simple arguements that our kids have.

First and foremost we need to teach our kids to stand up and take responsibility for their actions.

But a phrase that is normally thrown out there at some point during the discussion is “I am going to tell dad.”

First of all, the fact that dad will find out is a good thing. I am not complaining about that at all. However it brings up at least two points that I think we need to consider.

1- It is good for me to find out. Hopefully I can help sort out the madness and try to restore stability to the castle. Of course, any decisions dad makes can be questioned by any one involved. Too soft, too hard, not equal, and not fair are a couple of the normal arguements.

2- It shows me that they believe in a higher authority. This is good. They trust the authority over them and are willing to turn their “fate” over to someone else. They have a strong conviction and are convinced that they are innocent.

Hearing whats happened gives me a chance to teach them to resolve their own disagreements when they get older.

However my greater concern is that if they continue to call dad into the discussion it shows me that they have not been prepared.

This is where they will learn how to deal with everyone else once they grow up.

I have known too many coworkers over the years that if something happens their first response is I will tell the boss. They show me that they are insecure and don’t truly know the boss. If we knew the boss we would know that they don’t want to hear about every little problem.

There is a flip to this story. It is that so many others use “dad’s” name or the boss’ name to convince people to do things.

Dad said, “…..”

It is dangerous what can happen when we allow our names to be used to convince others. This is definitely a more common problem in the work place. Using the boss’ name to get someone else to do what we want them to.

This shows me those same insecurities from their childhood. Dad’s word was everything and their words never had value.

These two sides may be opposites and very different but they are connected at the core. They come from a sense that they are not valuable.

Our children’s words, ideas, and their expressions have great value and need to be appreciated for what they are and more importantly for who they are.

Let’s teach our children the art of discussion. Let’s enable them to be able to solve their problems. Help them to learn that they are valuable.

They have worth. No one can replace their value as they are unique.