A while ago I presented you to the girls with their new, self chosen, names. I have enjoyed seeing them grow and develop their own personalities over the years. They are unique and quite different from each other.

One of our constant battles is names. Names aren’t hard to remember. They aren’t hard to pronounce. They were chosen many years ago and placed on a piece of paper. It was a done deal. Simple. This should be easy to grasp.

The challenge with names is that all of us can have multiple names. I am not referring to first and middle or second names. i am referring to the names and nicknames that are placed upon us during the course of our lives.

Some of these nicknames require a specific story to be told for someone new o understand the name. This is definitely complicated. I have worked with various groups and after studying the list of travellers names I find myself talking to someone not on the list. They are actually on the list by their given names but everyone calls them something else. Flowe is a good example. Hi Flowe.

That is a challenge for others but what happens when we don’t like the name everyone knows us by?

This is the current challenge Crystal and Sparkle are going thru. Yes their names were chosen and have been set for a very long time but Sparkle doesn’t always like one of her names.

Yes I slip sometimes too but it seems as if Crystal has decided to use the undesired version of Sparkle’s name. Yesterday I talked with her after she said it for the second time in 10 minutes. Her response was ” I am sure I didn’t say it yesterday. My mind is just making up for it.”

So I guess once a day is ok?

It’s not fine and she knows it. Using her real name isn’t really a bad thing.

At times Sparkle comes out and writes the exact name Crystal just said on her homework or other artwork. So we know that the name is sometimes just a reason to fight or have a discussion.

We need to be careful as to not call our kids names that are hurtful to them. It’s one thing to call your child William, Billy. Yes we will enjoy laughing for Billy but this isn’t what I am talking about.

I am referring to names that hurt them. Names that are constantly reminding them of something embarrassing or shameful. We shouldn’t be exposing these things but helping to protect them. These are the names we must avoid.

We need to encourage them with our words, our names for them. It’s in the loving names that they know that they are in a safe, loving environment, and that they are accepted despite those embarrssing moments.

The names they are called on a daily basis are very important because they form their personality and define them.