Self esteem is one of the hardest gifts to try to give to our children. I know that I have spoken of my three girls and they are quite different. They are not identical at all. This is great because I know for sure that the world does not need an exact replica of me.

Since we are all different it becomes challenging as a parent because our tendencies are to compare. We start comparing our own children when they are young. Who walked first, spoke first, ran first, better grades, better athlete, cooks better, and the list goes on and on.

It gets even more complicated when our kids ask questions to try to compare themselves. Dad, who is the funniest? Who was the wildest? Who was the cleanest as a baby?

It becomes obvious that we will eventually let one of them down because they “lost” in the comparing game.

The core issue I believe is their identity. They are trying to find their identity and become unique. We may associate our identity with a variety of things. Successes, failures, being the best or worst.

So our children become “the wild one”, “the funny one”, “the smart one”, “mommas boy”, “good for nothing”, etc.

The more I think about this the more I realize that all of the titles we have placed on ourselves and on our children are not necessarily wrong. Don’t get me wrong, never call your kid good for nothing. Our words can change their perspective about themselves and thru that build or destroy their confidence. But in the big picture that title gives an identity.

Those titles are just that, titles.

It is interesting how we lay claim to a title and stick with it for days, weeks, months, years, and even decades.

We have to remember that the title they are wearing, even the title we are wearing, is only the title to this chapter. Our lives are filled with so many chapters.

All of us have gone thru different stages in life.

The chapter title we are currently in is temporary unless we never move on to the next chapter.

We must encourage them to see the big picture and understand that this chapter won’t last forever unless they want it to.

We must also remember that the title of the chapter is not the title of the book. This temporary stage is not who they will always be remembered as.

Our goal must be to help them write the best next chapter for their lives. Throw caution to the wind! Think big! Remember they will be remembered for something, lets make sure it’s unforgettable!