I was talking last night with Crystal and Dixie and Dixie said, “The difference between girlfriend and girl friend is the space in between and it’s called the friend zone. The three most populated areas in the world are China, New York and the friend zone.”

As a father I believe that the friend zone is a great place for my daughters to be in. However, I am sure that they would probably not agree. They believe that dating is normal for a seventeen or thirteen year old. I have heard of some of their friends going out on dates at even younger ages. I have also heard the different things that their friends do when they do go out. (I also remember being a teenager.)

This is where I get to practice being quiet. Learning how to bite your tongue is not easy to do. This is probably one of the most frustrating things to do as a parent. We have grown accustomed to talking. We talk, give orders, instructions, and advice since they were little children, but we get to a place where we have to be quiet and let them talk and make their own decisions.

We all make decisions in different ways. I personally like to ramble my way through until I finally get to the right answer. I already know the answer, it’s in there, it just hasn’t surfaced yet. There are other times when I don’t like the obvious answer and need a 2×4 across my forehead to get the picture.

Ultimately, we have to let them start to make their own decisions. This is very hard, frustrating, nerve racking and goes against everything we have done with them up until this point. But it gives a chance to help pick them up when they make a mistake. We can show them how to recover, get over heart break, and even deal with being unfriended on FB.

How did we get here? Crystal knows that the friend zone is the best place to start and stay for a long time. Dixie knows that she is not ready for romance and that friends are best. Boys sometimes have cooties anyway.

Open the conversation and let them talk. Give them a chance to mess up. Everything will be ok. You’re there to help teach them how to pick up the pieces.